letters-t0-a-friend:

Dear Friend,

I’m not even sure if ‘friend’ is the right word to use for what we are right now. I’ve always called you that, so it’s strange to think of us as anything else.

I want to apologise.

I need to apologise.

I went about everything in the wrong way. I twisted your words until they didn’t have meaning and I said so many things thathadno meaning.

It’s hard for me to read your name when I stumble across you in my newsfeed on Facebook, and harder when I walk past you during school in silence.

Because I know it’s my fault.

But some of it is yours.

What did you expect me to do, when I had to begin every single conversation.
What did you expect me to do, when I was afraid to say the wrong thing because I knew you’d get mad.
What did you expect me to do, when I didn’t understand what you’d say.
What did you expect me to do, when I read how upset you were about things?

Forget it?

Ignore it?

Not mention it?

Why?

Friend, I tried hard to be there for you when ever you needed me.
Friend, I tried hard to show interest in the things you liked.

But do you know where it got me?

Here.

Alone.

Missing you.

and writing this because I know there is no other way to tell you.

I’m afraid that if I apologised you’d still not care.
I’d rather pretend that you do than know you don’t.

So here we are at the end,

Your Friend.